Considering Marriage Therapy? How to Find the Right Fit for Both of You

With summer behind us, so is the busy season of weddings and anniversary celebrations. Nothing makes a couple take stock in their own relationship more than attending a fabulous affair, full of well thought out details, neatly orchestrated and full of fun and excitement.  If the honeymoon has passed in your relationship and you are wondering if you and your partner have what it takes to succeed, perhaps it’s time to consider tapping into a specialist who can provide neutral marriage counseling to help clarify these feelings.

If you’ve decided that you’d like to take this step, the next move is to approach your spouse with the idea of marriage therapy. It is not imperative that both members of the relationship be completely on board with the idea, but it is important to be aware and in agreement that if either feels that they are ready for counseling, then the other is supportive. It is especially important that this happens prior to the relationship deteriorating, so timing is everything. If you feel that you are ready to explore marriage therapy, don’t wait, and begin the conversation now – this very step could be the beginning of more open and meaningful communication.

Once you’ve determined that you are interested in meeting with a counselor, it is helpful to consider the following when making a selection:

• Location: is the counselor or practice convenient for you and your partner in case you both decide to attend sessions?
• Understand the financial cost that therapy may incur. Check with your health insurance provider to determine if counselling is covered. Check with your employer’s benefits provider to see if your Flexible Spending Account (FSA) allows for therapy reimbursement. Understand fully what costs you will be responsible for so that you won’t need to change providers due to costly co-pays or out of pocket session fees.
• Do the hours of the office coincide with your schedule?
• Be clear about what you hope to achieve from the process of counseling
• Put the time in. Understand that although sessions with a counsellor are important, the time between appointments is where a lot of the important work is achieved. Understanding behavioral patterns, being willing to change these patterns and try new approaches to the relationship are difficult steps and need to happen outside of the therapist’s office.

Deciding to explore marriage therapy is a difficult decision and making that choice is a very big step. If at any time in the process you are interested in learning more about your legal rights, it is never a bad idea to consult with a lawyer, experienced in the area of mediation.  Contact us to discuss the specifics of your situation confidentially.